Friday, October 16, 2009

No motivation...

Dad had a hospice evaluation today. They say he's a good candidate and will be admitted to the program once I fill out the paperwork.


I'm o.k. with it. It would be a blessing really.


He turns 65 in January. Young, I know. He has early onset Parkinson's that started in his 30's. He has Parkinson's related dementia and he is truly miserable. It's a very cruel existence. No matter your relationship, you would NEVER wish this disease on anyone.


Being admitted to hospice means they think he will die within 6 mos. time and in talking to the woman who contacted me, most people don't make it that long.

It's a very odd feeling. I'm really doing o.k. - just feel tired and unfocused.


In the meantime, Sera is lame in her left front. I think it's an abscess from the winter storm melt with all the mud and goo this week... I looked her over and can't find any heat or cause. I'll soak her hoof with Epsom salts and try to get the abscess to surface.


This means my lesson on Sunday will be with the youngster Rosso.


I'm not feeling very motivated or dedicated to my riding right now. Tho when I told Rexanne Sera was off and I'd bring Rosso to my lesson Sunday with an added, gulp. She said I was one of her dedicated and tenacious students and I was definitely not a nancy girl.


I'm feeling like a big lame-o nancy girl. (similar to nancy boy... only my reproductive organs are in the inside... uterus... ovaries and all that mess)


Definition of nancy boy from Urban Dictionary:


nancy boy
A nancy boy can be: A completely pathetic coward, who is generally afraid to speak their mind or do anything difficult or unpleasant....




At least Rosso will take all my focus and attention.... I'll be brave and let you know how it goes.


It's Cozzola's pizza with good red wine tonight cuz it's FRIDAY. It's our Friday night ritual. ALWAYS a great way to end the week....




yum......

5 comments:

DebH said...

big hug to you..take care and I hope your ride is wonderful and your soul finds comfort.

Shanster said...

Thanks Deb! Time with horses always seems to help... even the young ones that give me heartburn. :)

Martha Ann said...

Thinking of you and lifting a goblet of Cabernet to you and your father.

Shanster said...

Thanks Martha Ann - I sure appreciate it and I'm so glad you are sharing in the Friday night tradition! Cab is oh so good.

Tracy said...

Just catching up on blog reading and am so sorry to hear about your father's illness. I hope he will find some comfort in hospice. Family stuff can easily get crazy during these times, so good luck. Looks like things have smoothed out in that regard already.