Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I've been VIOLATED!

Ft. Collins experiences Miller Moth season... it's in full swing right now. There are moths EVERYWHERE. And I mean everywhere.



As you drive a long, there are hundreds of birds swirling around in the sky eating Millers. Traffic intersections in town are full of barn swallows diving, swooping and zooming around like little fighter jets as they snatch up the Millers.



Any time someone opens a door or a window, Millers fall out and flutter away to some other dark crevice or hidey hole.



This morning I was innocently driving along to work, singing along with the CD in my stereo and



OH MY GOD!


A Miller flew UP my knee length skirt and was fluttering, flapping and trying to find a dark spot to hide.... which is all that is up any one's skirt! Thighs and skirt folds and knee pits and my... my... *ahem*



I am not generally a squeal-y type of girl but in this instance?



I was squealing like ten litters of swine! It is amazing I didn't take out five cars, a few pedestrians and the bike to work dude....



I got the Miller out and then it was zooming around the car - dive bombing my head - I rolled down all the windows and saw it sucked out. I hope it was IMMEDIATELY eaten by a barn swallow.


I made it to work but I can still feel the flapping... I need a shower. I need pants...



I am not wearing another skirt until Miller Moth season is OVER!



7 comments:

Kelley said...

HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!!!

Foxxy said...

OMG.. I feel violated for you. I would still have liked to hear the squealing like ten litters of swine. I am definitely stealing that phrase from you. I got the stank eye look from one of my co-workers because I laughed out loud to this post. I'm sending it to a friend whose last name happens to be Miller. He'll appreciate the Miller under the skirt aspect.

Heather said...

HaHa! Thats what you get for making fun of the girl with the grasshopper at camp!

Shanster said...

Kelley - that's right, laugh away...

Foxxy - Tell Miller hello for me

Heather - THAT is exactly what I thought!

Cheryl said...

Eeew! That was really funny. I love your writing!!! Thanks for making me laugh!

DebH said...

Driving with stuff flapping up your skirt and not causing a scene is quite impressive. I was at a red light one day (in my oldest beater of a car, in my poorer days) when I caught a glimpse of a mouse run across the passenger side floor..ran over the hump and under my feet. I lifted the feet off the pedals and screamed of course...then found myself floating into the middle of the intersection. Told myself to get a grip and do not look down again until I could park the car. When I arrived at work...I left the car door open all day...boy did that make my knees shake.

Shanster said...

Cheryl - Gross but after the fact, I could see the humor!

DebH - Oh - those meeses! That would make MY knees quake too! We unearthed one's hiding spot and those suckers run AT you which is funny cuz what is it gonna do? Throw you down and put you in a head lock? This little mouse? There is something about a small anything running AT you or being ON you that is scream inducing!!