I found this website called Eggbay.com Yes, you read that correctly. Eggbay. I think there was some issue with Ebay and they had to change their name at a later date to Eggbid.com. Auction after auction involving chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese, peafowl, pheasants, fertilized eggs for you to hatch - you name it and if it involved farm yard fowl, you could find it on Eggbay.
I joined a chatroom about chickens and every day read about the problems people had with chickens. Mysterious disease, aggressive roosters, predators, dog attacks, chicken housing, chicken nutrition, chicken hatching, chicken raising, chicken butchering, chicken shows.
I pleaded with Furry Husband that I HAD to have chickens. He kept saying once I wasn't commuting back and forth to Denver for my job 4 hrs a day I could have my chickens.
One day we stopped in a local feed store for dog food. On their bulletin board was an add for 4 free banty hens. (Banty hens are miniature chickens - around 1/4 the size of a regular ol' chicken) I took the number and called... the lady said I could have them if I could catch them. Furry Husband was in the car with me looking a little panicked... after all, I was still commuting to Denver and this wasn't the "plan".
We got to this lady's house and the whole time Furry Husband is asking me if I know how to take care of chickens, do I know what they eat, where will they live... I pulled every single answer right outta me bum and completely hoodwinked him. Sounded like I'd been raisin' chickens my whole life. HA!
We caught the little Mille Fleur Banties... 4 little hens... cute, cute, cute! I bought an old crib at a thrift store, turned it upside down in my tack shed and there they lived. I was completely enamored with them and would watch them, talk to them, pick them up and pet them...roll my eyes when Furry Husband would shout "NO CHICKENS IN THE HOUSE!" I was delighted when they started laying eggs.
The way I saw it, they were relaxing - like a fish aquarium - only chickens were interactive! You could touch them and pick them up and they left you gifts... eggs!
One morning I went out to the chickens and there were 3 HUGE eggs. Wow. I ran inside to show Furry Husband and I was excitedly chattering at him how happy my chickens must be because lookit these big eggs they laid! I bet it was all the talking and little nonsense songs I sang to them! Wow - that is so cool that they would lay those big eggs just because I was SUCH a good chicken owner.
I got to work and told ALL my co-workers. I called friends and told them about how happy my chickens were cuz they laid these big eggs for me. I was so proud and happy and excited over my little hens.
And then Furry Husband called.
Turns out when he got home from the restaurant he managed at the time, he decided to bring home some extra large eggs... he rubbed them around in the dirt to make them look au naturale and he planted them in my little chicken house with my hens when he got home around 2am.
I bet the look on my face was just classic as the realization dawned on me. And oh my gawd...I'd just told ALL those people about how my chickens..... how they loved me.... how it was all cuz I talked to them....the giant eggs were a display of love....
Furry Husband had tears rolling down his face and couldn't breathe from laughing so hard. He laughed for MONTHS with a childlike, evil glee about me swallowing that joke without even a moment's hesitation.....
S'ok. I hear paybacks are a bitch....
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