Saturday, September 13, 2008

Wine country....

We are back from our whirlwind tour of Napa and Sonoma with our good friends Harry and Sally. I think all of us except for Furry Husband are a leetle green around the gills when it comes to even thinking about wine right now.

Our first day we were like kids in a candy store. We walked all over Healdsburg tasting in wine fronts all along the streets.

At the time this picture was taken, we were all feeling quite happy. This picture is hilarious because our friend Sally has NEVER seen a man shorter than she is! Lookee Sally, so cute in her pink top and the wee, little man standing at the bar to your right.

That's right, he's not sitting, he's standing folks!



We had a lot of barrel room tours... And some vineyard tours.
This is a basket o' bungs. Yeah, there really are bung holes in wine barrels. It's not something Beavis and Butthead made up! heh, heh - I said bung hole - heh heh hehSo much nicer than corn dontcha think? Rows and rows of vines. Far as the eye can see.... full of grapes ripening to make Merlot, Pinot, Chardonnay, Cabernet, Sirah, Sauvignon and many others....Moose, the BR Cohn winery dog. There are books at every winery "Winery Dogs of Napa" or "Winery Dogs of Sonoma" filled with winery dogs, their pictures and biographies. And there were the tasting rooms.....After tasting room....After tasting roomAfter tasting room...
from 10:30 in the morning to about 3 pm we drank wine.

I don't understand why I can't bring wine to work? I'd be MUCH happier if I had a good buzz at 10:30am every day. One of the wineries we toured, we walked past a cubicle area - office papers, staplers, laptop docking stations..... glasses full of wine sitting on the desk... much like your morning cup o' joe.

The guy tasting us on wines in the picture above was hilarious - very intense - he told us to sit down and he was gonna do something to us that'd make our heads spin around until they popped off! Hmm - never been told that before - in any situation really.


We didn't get a picture of the woman that tasted us on wines at the place below - but she was SUMTHIN'! Picture a severe Type A personality who just drank 3 pots of straight espresso and trains pit bulls to fight. Now you are getting an idea of our friend at this winery ... a lot of aggressive direct stares and the use of your first name hard and excessively. For example, "I know that SHANNON is married to the powerhouse and that is why SHANNON is here. " yeah, she really did call Furry Husband "the powerhouse".

I knew if I laughed or joked I would be totally bitch slapped. That woman took her wines seriously! She'd walk across the room to pull more wine bottles and when she'd leave our table, we'd all look at each other with wide eyes mouthing, " oh. my. god."

At one point, Furry Husband asked a question JUST as this woman took a sip of wine.

Silence.

She continued to sip the wine, then swished it all around - like a person in a Scope mouthwash ad - swishing and swirling and practically gargling the wine. Then she brought oxygen into her mouth - you hold the wine in your mouth but suck in air - sorta like slurping soup. Doing this with wine in your mouth makes a very similar noise...

We all sat there in total silence watching this woman for what felt like forever. I thought I was going to DIE LAUGHING. Only it's as if you are in church and you aren't supposed to laugh. None of us could make eye contact with each other cuz we were all on the verge of hysterics. I was digging my fingernails into my thigh and biting the insides of my cheeks to keep myself contained.

When we left, we all just rolled around in the car crying with laughter and I think also with giddy relief that we had escaped our "grapes of wrath" experience.



One night we made dinner at one of the guest houses. We went to Oxbow Market and picked up some steaks, corn on the cob and portabella mushrooms. Sally is an EXCELLENT chef and even tho' our meal was simple, it was heavenly! Our table set for dinner is below - we grilled everything and watched the sun set over the vineyard.



This guest house at Cuvaison was nestled right into the 400 acre vinyard so we could go walking in the mornings and evenings in the beautiful countryside. Since the vineyards are working farms, (yes, I got my geek on with the Agricultural side o' things) producing a crop and harvesting, they have deterrants for the birds.



There are shiny streamers in many of the vinyards and as you drive around in wine country, it looks like the hillsides are sparkling. These are supposed to act like scarecrow type deterrants. There are also noise makers which sound like shotguns. They are timed to sound off sporadically and are located throughout the vineyards.



At the Cuvaison guest house a noise maker went off nearby in the middle of the night. I sat up in bed with the thought that Harry had come into the hallway and made one, loud clap to see if we were awake! I asked Furry Husband, "Did you hear that?!" He mumbles yes and I say, "Is someone CLAPPING?!"

One night we went for a walk and Furry Husband had an accident. There was a deck area off our bedroom with no step down. It was really dark that night with no city lights at all, a tiny sliver of a moon and you could barely see your hand in front of your face. Darker than the inside of a black cow at night kinda dark.



I evaluated the distance and jumped... why we couldn't just walk thru the house and out onto the deck that HAD steps, I'll never know. Copious amounts of wine makes you do funny things and impairs judgement. Children, please, do not try this at home.

Furry Husband followed me. Only he misjudged the distance, landed wrong, fell, completed a full body roll in the lawn (drum roll please) WITHOUT spilling his full glass of wine!

I am looking at him laying there and he says, "here take this." giving me his wine. He lays there for a minute and then gets up. We still went on our walk but the next day Furry Husband's knee was hugely swollen and he couldn't put weight on it.

We set him up with lots of ice and ibuprofen and stopped at Rite Aid for a knee brace. The swelling went down and he was able to get around - limping and slower.

We all experienced a little sticker shock by the food cost there. One of our breakfasts was $80 with tip. That is for coffee, eggs, toast and we ordered their specialty house donuts to split between the four of us. If you ever buy the six pack of those tiny Dolly Madison donuts from a gas station, you have an idea of the size of the donuts served - four of them - one for each of us. Harry and Sally ordered a "breakfast pizza" - flat bread, eggs, carmelized onions and bacon.


Furry Husband and I ordered eggs and bacon. I got my egg cooked into a hole in the toast! When I lifted my toast, the egg hung low - it looked funny to me and reminded me of a Robin Williams thing, "The moon, like a testicle, hangs low in the sky" only - insert egg and plate into the aforementioned quote.Oh, if every morning could be like this. I seriously need to win the damn lottery.
Furry Husband gettin' some love from Nobel, the Mondovi family wine dog.
A note in the Mondovi guest house about Nobel...
We were all determined not to feed Nobel.

We brought pizza back to the guest house one night and Nobel stood outside the patio door, next to the dinner table, barking imperatively and constantly - as if Timmy fell down the well - while we ate.

I understand why people at the guest house feed Nobel.

They relent under the constant badgering and incessant noise. That dog has his hostage technique DOWN!


(I can proudly say we did not give in to his demands)



We had so much fun together and tho' we were happy to get home and sleep in our own beds...I am still dreaming a little dream of vineyards....

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