Hello! I know this blog has been allowed to go a little dormant.... however, when I am sad and a little on the depressed side, I tend to be way more in my own head and I write more - even tho' my posts for the most part are cheerful. I mean, yeah, I AM cheerful and I enjoy finding humor in most everything in life ... and still when I was struggling with a bit o' the depressive side there was always a bit of a shadow - or brain bugs - or that f*&^ing demented hamster running on a wheel in my head that woulnd't stop - and that is why I wrote more and posted more.
Eating 100% better than I used to and moving 100% more really, really fixed that issue 98% of the time.
Personally, I think my diet before contributed greatly to this shadow of depression. I ate mostly processed food stuff like the diet industry's fat-free anything, pizza, pasta, man-made foods - ummmm - what the hell IS Velveeta anyway? Personally I think your body just wasn't made to thrive off those things and we would all be better off eating foods we recognize... things that are "real".
Yeah - like broccoli, squash, chicken, beef, fish, eggs, pork, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, cabbage, spinach, pears, pomegranates, avocados, nuts - veggies, proteins, fruits...things that are what they are without the ingredient list a mile long. Things typically found on the outside aisles of your local grocery store....
And yes, it took time and patience to learn to eat these things as I was not raised on anything remotely resembling healthy. Yes, it was difficult. However, you CAN love these things and I DO love these things now. Never thought I could or would like veggies or fruits and now I do for reals and for true. Both for how they taste and for how they make me feel.
Then came the exercise and moving piece... and I did well on my own to start. I had success with basic bodyweight movement and sprints.
I hurt myself sprinting while on my own - didn't warm up enough - and I went to a PT that my lunchtime yoga instructor recommended. She fixed my issue and would show me where I was injured in anatomy books and explain what she was doing to help me. Very much appreciated. Yet when I excitedly told her about the things I was doing at home, she told me I should stop because I would get really "bulky" and man-like in my musculature. This made me sad and I knew enough to know that wasn't true. Knew this was one of those fitness myths I'd read about and women are so much more capable....and sad this myth is so pervasive.
We moved on to Crossfit cuz we had friends who SWORE by it and drank that kool-aid by the gallon. grin.
Then my elbows got a bit trashed from all the high reps in Crossfit... beginning with my left elbow. The coach there was grumpy and annoyed by my seemingly endless questions... I know. I just have questions! And I wanted to know more and more and more but that enthusiasm was too much for his grumpy soul and our personalities didn't jive.
I asked him about my elbow when it first began to hurt and I think he had just had it with me. He told me I could have wrung out a towel too hard for all he knew. He told me I should use this to my advantage to practice one-arm pull ups with the "good" elbow.
Which didn't make any sense to me because I couldn't even do ONE normal pull up. How in the hell would I just start knocking out one-arm pull ups and if my left elbow was hurting... I didn't want to trash out my right one. And I was not having fun any more there - just didn't "believe" in the kool-aid anymore after a year.
I recently went to a kettlebell guy in town. He had been helpful - absolutely - in critiquing my swing and in making sure I am creating tension in my core to assist me with movement. When I told him of my pull-up goals he thought I should do high reps to attain them. I tried this. And the high rep thing just. isn't. working. My right elbow hurts and I'm still not any closer to my pull ups. I don't think this method is wrong per se, but damn, MY body just can't handle it and there HAS to be another way. I am feeling so frustrated by my injuries.
I looked at working remotely with WG-Fit and Dave Hedges in Ireland back in August (because isn't the Internet so freaking cool? You can meet up and connect with people you would NEVER know or run into otherwise).... he thought he might start up some on-line training. Tho' it hasn't happened. He showed support for my efforts and was kind enough to answer questions I had without being condescending which I was so, so grateful for. Tho again, I think I am a little too all over the place in my excitement... Shannon-esque you might say ... with my enthusiasm and endless questions. *head hangs in sorrow* He has a blog chock full of good information and video demos to learn from as well - totally nice guy who knows his shit but he is in Ireland and I am in Colorado.
I am reading, reading, reading.... trying to learn all I can about fitness because it is truly amazing to me how it has made me feel SO. MUCH. BETTER.
I just can't begin to explain how much better it is in my own head and how I feel empowered cuz I did it. No one did it for me. I did it. I am the one who figured out foods and how to cook them and I am the one who began moving and being consistent in movement and I am the one that helped myself to feel so much better and I am the one who changed my body. I did this. No one else could have done it for me. It was all up to me and like those motivational childrens movies with a moral at the end... I HAD THE POWER INSIDE MYSELF ALL THIS TIME. And you do too... we all do. We are all so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
I am going to work remotely with Cori of Redefining Strength and Man Bicep. Check her out here and here. She is the real deal. Not a bunch of fake marketing b.s. But real exercises, real technique focused on proper form and movement. Real rehab and recovery techniques.
AND the best part to me right now - when I feel I have been chasing away everyone in the fitness world with my Shannon-esque - she is enthusiastic and I don't think I scare her or have driven her crazy ... yet.
I know I can be "overwhelming" in my excitement. It is a blessing many times being the YES, YES, YES - JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET - YAHOOO!!!! sort of person .....tho' it has bitten me in the ass as well. I am really looking forward to working with a woman and having some female energy injected into my fitness journey. I need help with all the detail stuff and progressing.
She is going to help me figure out how to write some programming with my specific goals in mind --- with my capabilities and limits and how to expand in ways that won't injure me. I am so willing to put in work and effort, and I just don't want to hurt myself anymore in that work and effort. There has to be a way to make progress without injury. I think there is a "work smarter - not harder" element here to be learned.
And I am really hoping she can help me to put a filter on the things I read and help me to think about them and how one would go applying them.... I seriously looked at going back to college and getting a degree in exercise and kinethesiology at my ripe old age of 43... but I am so over getting more and more in huge debt with college loans. Feels like I'll never have my Masters degree paid off as it is....
I know we have something to learn from everyone we encounter.** And I so want to learn....
So anyway - check out Man Bicep and Redefining Strength for loads of good info and maybe you want to take some online training too? Or subscribe to an exercise library full o' good workouts?
And while I think about this blog... it is a good thing when I am away cuz it means I am out in the real world moving and living and not under that little shadow of depression and the brain bugs are gone and the hamster is quiet.
I wish you all much love and peace and strength in this new year of 2014!!!
**(I'm not a Crossfit hater - I struggle with residual bad feelings but I think that has a lot to do with ME and not the sport itself. I still watch the Games on ESPN and I still love Elizabeth Akinwale. I think a lot of people do well with it - I don't think it is the absolute recipie for grievous injury and rhabdo - I enjoyed it for a time! AND even tho my crossfit coach and I did not mesh well in the end, I DID learn from him, yes - good things too. Before he got fed up with me... and eventually I from him. heh)