Car Shopping

Furry Husbands car took a major dive.  It was slowly falling apart before our eyes and we weren't going to sink any more money into it....   he began car shopping.  No new cars, simply new to us. 

He decided on a Subaru Forrester....

Every one we found would be snatched away - sold - before we could look at it.  We decided to widen the search area and voila! 

I found one 30 min from the dog show I was at last weekend...

Sunroof, heated seats, breaking the pattern of all white cars with the color black and most importantly a MANUAL transmission.  Very few cars are manual anymore and this is something Furry really wanted.

I called the dealer three or four times that day... I couldn't get out there before they closed that day to see it... but I'd be out the next day for the dog show and could I come see it then?  Did they need a deposit to hold it?  They wouldn't sell it out from under us?  It was exactly what we'd been looking for! 

Yeah - the opposite of what you are supposed to do with a used car dealer I'm sure.  The complete and total opposite.  Showin' all my goods.  I know.  I'm an idiot.

Saturday I left to go see this Forrester from the dog show.

Furry Husband calls and says, "Honey?  I'm off the Forrester.  I decided I want an Outback instead.  That dealer has a 2005 manual transmission Outback... will you look at that one instead?"

I rolled my eyes at his fickleness with cars but said I'd look at the Outback instead.  I didn't think to call the dealer and tell him about the change of plans.... a used car lot is a used car lot is a used car lot.  Right?

Nope.

This particular dealer keeps all the cars bumper to bumper in a warehouse/showroom.  Nose to tail.  So tightly parked you can't even walk betwixt them.

I walked into the showroom.

The sales guy shakes my hand eagerly - awaiting his easy sale. 

The Forrester is polished up, apart from the showroom of sardine-like packed cars, lights shining down upon it and he says, eyes bright..."And HERE is the Forrester!"  I think he even moved his arms like Vanna White showcasing a letter in the Wheel of Fortune.

I didn't even glance at the Forrester.

I said, "Um.  Yeah.  My husband doesn't want the Forrester anymore.  He wants me to look at the 2005 manual transmission Outback Turbo."

The sales guy was completely still.  Smile stuck on his face.  You could tell he was trying to understand what my mouth just said....  and then?  His whole face crumpled and he uttered a very quiet, "Oh."
He slowly looked back over his shoulder at the warehouse of cars parked headlight to taillight....   the Outback Furry wanted me to look at was in the far corner, next to the warehouse wall, 3 cars deep from the side and 12 cars deep from the front.

The sales guy swallows hard and says quietly... eyes forming tears and lingering on the magnificent Forrester showcased in all it's shiny, black glory.... "Well... I'll need to move some cars around...."

Poor guy.

I had to pee super bad and I didn't want to wait for him to move 15 cars. 

Yes the showroom had a bathroom but it was 4 walls with no ceiling, in the middle of a warehouse... with 5 salesmen sitting in a group outside the bathroom.  You KNOW each and every drop of urine I expelled would be heard by ALL of them.

I have a shy bladder. 

I'm not peeing in a bathroom projecting sound like a friggin auditorium in a warehouse full of guys.  Besides, you know the second I tried it,  a fart would emerge and it'd be a really embarrassing fart noise, not a cute dainty girl fart but a big, disgusting sound you could never pass off as a squeak from your shoe, sort of noise.

I tell the sales guy - look - we have an appt with the Longmont Subaru dealer to have a car checked out on Monday from your place.  If you take the Outback in on Monday and it checks out,  we can go from there.  I'm sure this car starts and drives.  I don't need to drive it.

I leave the dealer and head back to the dog show. 

Furry Husband calls and asks me about the car.  "Did you drive it? Is is fast!?"

I decide to tell a white lie.... I really, really  have to pee and I think I might wet myself at this point.

Yup!  It sure is zippy, honey!

He replies, "Oh good!  Because I found the exact same car here in Ft. Collins - everything is the same except the one I found isn't a turbo.  The dealer is letting me take it home tonight so when you get home you can drive it and tell me the difference!"

Crap.

Crap, crap, crap.

See what happens the minute you tell a lie?