More Muay Thai...and being a girl

I go to my muay thai classes religiously.  You can't expect to get better at anything if you are sporadic or only do it when you "feel" like it.  I LOVE my boxing nights.  Hitting the pads is technical, thoughtful, and empowering.  Even though I know I am no good (how can ANYONE be good at anything they just start unless they have been bitten by a radioactive spider?) I feel powerful in my boxing classes hitting pads and learning about punches.

I could listen to the coaches talk about how to throw a punch over and over because every time they explain it to new people that come, I hear some other small nuance that I missed the other times I heard it explained.

Being a girl in muay thai is interesting.  And frustrating.  The fact that I'm THERE... I'm out of my comfort zone, I'm in a room of men, often the only woman... and I'm so much older than anyone there... should let people know I'm there and I'm serious and I really want to learn this.  However, society frowns on men hitting women and for good reason.

I get it.  I was around domestic violence growing up.  It's horrible and freaking scary and should never be condoned.  Men don't hit women. 

Unless... they are in boxing class.  So it's a weird thing.  And I'm so happy when one of the men there brings it and doesn't "seem" to pull punches into the pads I hold for them... and at the end of class when we grapple, I am so glad when a guy really tries vs. just going limp or soft and letting me easily best them because I'm a girl.

And I struggle with this and I admit I have a chip on my shoulder about it.  And I admit things can be 2 sided.  Guy holds a door open for you and he's a gentleman but then you want him to punch you in the face in boxing class.  Doesn't compute and mixed messages galore.  And what guy wants to be the one who punches the girl and she freaks out?  What if she wasn't expecting it or had a different idea of what boxing would be?  I don't know all the reasons they won't hit back or hit hard, I'm not a guy.  I can only imagine.

Some nights I come home elated... buzzing and vibrating full of energy and excitement because I felt like I was paired with guys that didn't pander to my being a girl.  Other nights I come home so incredibly frustrated and mad because I was paired with guys that caved and wouldn't fight and were like wet dishrags because I'm a girl...

And especially if I'm taking this course to learn how to be strong should someone ever attack me.  Those guys are not helping me.  I'm not learning.  No attacker is going to play "nice" because I'm a girl.  That is a perceived weakness that they will try to exploit. 

There are way more classes I come home excited than mad however and I am loving the feeling of power and figuring out how to use my body technically to be stronger, more balanced, faster.  It's really amazing. 

I'm a white shirt - baby beginner.  Once you have 40 classes you obtain green shirt status - still a beginner - but a beginner that knows at least a little of what is going on.  When you obtain your green shirt, you are allowed to come to the MMA sparring class held Thursday night.

We get a chance to spar a tiny bit with Coach G and Coach J on Wednesday nights.  A quick 2-3 minute round.  I love my sparring time because it is so dynamic.  I can shadow box and punch a bag all day long but nothing else is coming at me.. I don't have to worry about keeping my guard up (which I should always do but when no one is hitting you, it's easy to forget or to not notice)

I can.  not.  wait.  until I'm a green shirt.