Reality check....

I'm reading the book by Denny Emerson, How Good Riders Get Good. 

It's a wonderful book... very positive and yet very honest.  I'm about half-way through and just devouring it.  He is such a kind and wise man who has been involved with horses in so many different ways... saddle seat, The Tevis Cup endurance, eventing, olympic level competitions... seems like his interests just go on and on.   He knows what he's talking about.

His book had me thinking about my goals.  What do I want to get out of riding?

Had a good talk with Rex.

Reality check.

I'm gonna stop riding Rosso.  I enjoy him on the ground - he is low maintenance and a good pet. 

I'm in Northern Colorado - I'm not on the East Coast or in California or near any sort of top showing circuit.  I don't have goals to compete at top shows... I don't have goals to break and train young/green horses and get good at it....   I don't want to do lots of traveling to big shows so why am I torturing myself with all the anxiety around Rosso.

Rex asked,  "Riding is hard, why not have some fun along with the hard work?  No one says you HAVE to ride him.  If training young/green horses or disagreeable horses is your goal then yes, keep riding Rosso but I don't think that is what you want." 

I thought about what I want.

I want a sound, confident horse that I can have fun with while learning Dressage... I want to increase in the levels and get to top levels.  I want to compete and do well locally but I don't want to show extensively.  I'd like to show enough that I get "over" myself and it doesn't make me so nervous.  More bareback rides along with trails tho maybe not at the same time - grin -  to get out of my comfort zone, do something different that compliments the dressage work and increases my confidence/seat.   These are my goals.

Rosso is not a good fit for those goals and it's been causing me so much consternation.   WHY?  Just let him be a pet. 

Put my time, effort, focus, attention and money into Sera where I am having fun, learning, progressing and moving forward.  I wanted to try training a young horse - I did that with Sera.  Got started with Rosso - he is trained well and a model citizen on the ground.  If he had been a different horse maybe it would be different.  I wanted to experience starting a young horse cuz I thought it would make me a more rounded horse person.  I did and it did.

We discussed that I'm not looking for another horse right now.  When the time comes, as Sera ages, yes... I would like a 7-8 yr old horse with some initial training that has been to a couple shows.  Think solid Training Level horse that has shown a few times and has potential.   A horse with potential and some training put into him/her will cost $.  

I'm gonna start putting the $ I'd use for Rosso's lesson each week into a savings account (gots to start somewhere) and we'll go from there.  Years from now (knock on wood Sera stays sound and healthy) we can begin looking for a started horse that is a good fit/match for me and my goals...

Feels sort of good to have that all resolved. 

IF a good home comes up for Rosso fine... tho' I doubt that will happen. 

And that is fine too cuz he is low maintenance, lovable, keeps Sera company and he really is a rescue - he was free - has a cataract - not the best front leg conformation - broken front teeth - the chiro vet I've had out thinks he broke his pelvis at one point along with his withers - probably pulling back and going over backwards... and he is sort of nut job in his brain from his race track days.

I feel better....  

Now I really can get focused on what I want to do...   DRESSAGE and hittin' some trails.....

Puts your poor little psyche out of whack to try and be or do something not in line with where you really want to be... took a while for me to figure it out. 

Stubborn I guess.