Continuation of old stories....

As I was telling you, we moved from the city to the country. City = busy, noise, lots o' people around. Country = dark, quiet, no one around.

We had chickens and I had opened their pen that day so they could run around the yard eating bugs.

That night I was getting our dog ready for a dog show and Furry Husband was at work. Booker, our Gordon Setter, had a brief life in the conformation ring (kinda like Westminster Kennel Club dog show)... I was up late grooming him and I forgot to close the chicken pen.

I went to bed around 11pm and as I'm laying there (or is it lying - I forget which is grammatically correct?)

I hear the neighbor dogs barking which makes me think, "oh no! The chickens!" I hadn't closed the chicken pen! I'm not really sure why the neighbor dogs barking would make me think this cuz they always bark. ? Who knows how the human brain works.

I jump up, put my slippers on and go out in my red plaid mens flannel pajamas to close the pen.

Uh oh.

There is a chicken laying (or is it lying??) on her back in the middle of the yard.

Oh. That can't be right.

I go further and there is a big ol' pile of rooster feathers.

Oh.

Oh. This is mos' definately not right.

I close the pen and notice that one rooster is gone, the hen laying (or lying) in the yard is a goner but everyone else seems to be there... oh, wait! Larry is missing!

Larry is our black silkie rooster. He is a very ugly rooster but he is very sweet. I bought him for $1 on eggbay.com.

I stand up, I'm sorta surveying the land and I see this little dark lump on the other side of the fence in the pasture.

It is dark. It is quiet. I am convinced something is watching me.

I tiptoe out into the pasture in my slippers, tripping over dried horse turds cuz it's freaking DARK out. I get to the dark lump and it is Larry.

He is on his back. Isn't this how horror movies begin??

I can hear my own breathing because it is so quiet out. The hairs on my neck are standing out cuz I'm just convinced any minute now something is gonna come rushing outta nowhere and savage me....

remember the movie Lost Boys? And the vampires come out of the sky to savage the people at the bonfire party? Remember how the one skinhead guy has a vampire bite into his head like a melon? These are the thoughts racing through my mind....

I bend down to look at poor Larry...

I can see his little beady eye.... omg... I think he just blinked!

I reach down to pick him up and all of a sudden he JUMPS up making this awful HHUUURRRRR!!, HHUURRRRRR!!, HRRRRRR!! squawking and takes off like a track star down into the pasture.

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick! I flew backward and fell on my ass. I think I just had a friggin' heart attack.

Little tufts of dirt fly as he runs. It's like watching an ostrich on the Discovery channel but in minature...

Well now I'm screwed. I can't leave him out there to be eaten by whatever is lying (or is it laying) in wait... and so I go after him... into the dark pasture full of thigh high grass and tripping over horse poo... in my flannel pajamas and slippers.

I am completely freaked out and he's making so much noise I wonder if one of the country neighbors is gonna come out of their house with a shotgun... or if whatever is wanting to attack is pinpointing our position based on the noise...

Now I'm not only afraid of whatever is out there waiting to attack, and I could swear I saw glowing red eyes in the grass watching me ... but I'm afraid of being shot to death.

I did catch Larry after what felt like forever. I put him in the pen all safe and secure with the others.....and I beat it indoors... breathless and wild eyed with crazy big hair thinking I just cheated death.

I called Furry Husband up at work....

Me: "honey.... something is out there!"
FH: "What?"
Me: "SOMETHING is out there!"
FH: "I can't hear you. Why are you whispering?"
Me: "Something got in with the chickens!!"
FH: "Well let the dogs out to chase it away..."
Me: "No! What if it's still out there!"
FH: "Honey. I have to go I'm working..."
Me: "But what do I do if it comes back?!"
FH: "Let the dogs out. I'll be home soon, you'll be fine"

HA! Easy for HIM to say. He's in a restaurant full of people and lights and sounds and PEOPLE!
I am alone in the dark and quiet.

I stayed up sitting on the kitchen counter, eyes wide with fear, watching the yard.

A small red fox came trotting thru looking for the hen it'd left in the yard...

oh.

well.

THAT isn't so scary.

And after all, I'M the one that left the chicken pen open... little foxy was just mindin' his own bid'ness when he noticed that someone left the doors open to his very own version of Kentucky Fried Chicken free buffett....