We are home from the audition! I actually think it went really well and we have a shot. As much of a shot as anyone there I suppose.
Furry Husband and I got to the hotel at a little after 8am. Auditions started at 10am. We were the third "cat-testant" pair to get there. Mom and Auntie Anne were already there. Furry Husband left to go play frisbee golf.... at 9am more people came but it wasn't like a huge line or anything.
Someone came out and handed out clip boards with numbers, a waiver, an information sheet to fill out about me and my cat and a 20 question quiz. I made one guess on the quiz about the number of bones in a cat's body. I know I read it on the internet but just couldn't recall what it was. I knew the heart rate and some of the other cat questions - most were really easy.... things like why do cats land on their feet, what are allergic people allergic to in cats, who was the author for Garfield, what was the cats name in Sabrina the Teenage Witch t.v. show...I heard other people saying how hard the quiz was? I might have gotten a couple wrong... who knows. They didn't score it there.
Here I am! Got my number, clipboard and Mojo!
Right around that time, they called us all into this room with chairs and some cafeteria tables in the front - there were 2 people sitting there. They started up an hour early. One no-nonsense sorta severe looking lady from ASPCA or Humane Society and a guy who was bald, with big porkchop sideburns, a flavor-saver goatee thing on his lower lip and lots o' tats on his arms - he was in a sleeveless shirt. So he musta been evaluating the "talent"? And the ASPCA/Humane Society lady was evaluating the cats?? Dunno.
Looks like the room filled up! This is what it looked like on my way out at around 10:30am. The evaluations were waaayy up at the front of the room near that orange and green poster.
Anyway, I'm sitting there - they call the first person up and she is this young woman with a 10 yr old cat and she had a little velcro tie/collar on him. He was fat and old and had old cat fur... you know that sorta greasy clumpy looking fur? He was really mellow tho and I'm sure the tie was really cute. So the 2 people evaluated him and then back in the carrier he went.
Oh - that was the big thing - NO CATS OUT OF THEIR CARRIERS! (unless they were evaluating them) They made it clear that any cat and owner team would be immediately disqualified if the cats were out and about.
Then the next lady went and her cat was mellow and she was friendly and everything. Next up was ME! gulp!
I pull Mojo out and plop him on the table. He is wide-eyed for sure and very tense. He didn't make a mad dash or scratch or hiss or anything but he was sorta bug eyed and crouched down. The 2 people ask if he's nervous and how long he's been in the carrier. I told them it was his "first time off the farm" and we came from Ft. Collins - about 1.5 hrs away but he was o.k. in the car. We put the back seats down and he laid behind us the whole way down.
They were like - "uhhh - he's pretty nervous...." hemming and hawing Then one said, it's not you but we can't have him this nervous... I was all cheerful "oh, it's o.k.! I know - it's just the first time he's been off the farm and I wasn't sure how he'd be. Figured it was worth a shot." I think I probably shrugged and then they say - "well, why don't you put him in the carrier and let him look around for about 10 minutes and we'll see what he does then" So I sit in the front row and let him get a good look at the front of the room and I talk to him and I hoist the carrier up and point it to the back of the room filled with people to let him see. I had asked if he could be out to acclimate but they were quick to say NO.
This is Mojo being very buggy eyed and tense and in a cat carrier for the first time in his life.
Then this lady goes who drove all the way from Salt Lake City, UT. Her cat - a long hair orange tabby is like velcro and stuck to the front of her. Now THAT cat is bug, buggy, BUG-eyed! She peels him off of her and sets him on the table. They are like - "whoa - this cat is so scared that I'm sorry - it's not you, it's just we can't work with an animal that is that afraid" and they sent her home right away.
Now that had to just suck. You drive all the way from UT only to be sent right home. The 2 evaluators were definately not impressed by that - taking a panicked cat in a car for that long to come to this audition!
Then this cute, thin 20-something brought her cat up but couldn't get him out of the carrier so they put the k-bosh on that cat and sent her packing. One guy took his cat up and I guess it had a weepy eye - the 2 evaluators were all over that - if he'd taken his cat to the vet for it and what was it and did it always weep like that...so I would think it wouldn't go on t.v. with a flaw like that? I dunno? Another lady took her cat up and the ASPCA lady was telling her that something was bad and it could imbed in her cat's skin and she really needed to get her cat to a vet... I have no idea what that was about but you'd think that would be a disqualifying thing even tho' they did let her go forward.
They called me back up. I got Mojo out and put him on the table. He layed down and seemed much more relaxed. Both of them commented that he was A LOT better. The tat guy looked relieved cuz I think he liked Mojo - he smiled when I told them his name - like it was a cool name.
Anyway - I said that we lived on a small hobby farm in Ft. Collins with horses and dairy goats and we went to the feed store where he was the last kitten left in a stock tank. When he head butted my husband's goat, we had to take him home with us. Again - the tat guy liked that and sort of chuckled cuz he had that little goat-ee thing too. The ASPCA lady remarked that it was a good display of my cat's relationship to me that he calmed down that fast. I told her he is really mellow and calms down right away about situations. The tat guy said he was a really pretty cat and he was glad that Mojo had calmed down - he said it enthusiatically... he must like black cats? They took my pix with Mojo with a polaroid instant photo camera and stapled it to my ppwk.
NONE of the other cats there were black. There were tabby cats, orange cats, siamese cats, spotted cats.. no other black ones. Not to say black ones didn't show up later...
This is the little hallway where I waited for my "screen shot"
So I got to go to the final phase. They had me sit in this hall with a couple others outside the main staging/evaluation room. Then they took me into a room with another Humane Society or ASPCA person and a t.v. personality guy cuz he was all polished and macheesemo. They didn't have my ppwk in the room yet so the macheesemo guy was like - I don't know who you are cuz I don't have your ppwk! I told him my name and my cat's name and joked a little with him about not letting my cat out until the room was secure and something else but I don't really remember. I had him chuckling a little tho'.
The room is filled with lights and booms and cameras and light reflector things and microphones etc. Mojo was like - CRAP! But he stayed in my lap and didn't struggle really to get away. He did NOT like the overhead microphone thing and would duck each time it went overhead. I thought that was kinda funny.
Once the door is closed, they have me sit in this directors chair next to this little cat tower thing. They tell me to hold on tight to my cat...
So they ask me my cat's name and I say "Mojo"...the guy is like - no, say 'my cat's name is...' so I repeat cheerfully "My cat's name is Mojo!" Then they ask me how he got his name. I say how the day we brought him home, we went to a Denver Blues Festival and that mojo and blues just go together!
They asked where Mojo likes to be petted the most - I said he likes to be petted down his back ... and they asked where he likes to be most and I said we had 3 dogs and he likes to lay in the middle of them all on his back with his legs in the air snoring....
Then they threw me... they asked what would I do with the million dollars if I won it. Well to tell you the truth, I really hadn't gone there cuz I have to make it through this audition first you know? And I guess I just can't really fathom a million dollars. Not for REALS.
I went blank - thought I should answer pay all my bills cuz that is what I would do but then thought that would be a boring answer...so I said, "I'd probably jump up and down and scare my cat!" (rolling of eyes) then said something about living on a farm and we'd probably add on to the farm and doesn't a large portion of the money go to charity? so that would be good - but yeah, probably add on to the farm.
I think that was a lame answer...
The last thing they asked was what Mojo would do if HE won the million dollars... I laughed and said, Mojo?! they said yes and I said, well, I'm sure he'd lay on it - on his back - with his feet in the air - snoring!
Then they took 2 pix of me and Mojo and the t.v. guy was like - that was great! That was really great! Thank-you! I said, "No, thank-YOU for coming to Denver!" and they were like - no, no, thanks for coming OUT!
Shrug. So I think it went really well and figure I have as good of a chance as anyone. Just from watching the crowd, figure 50% will be eliminated for being too odd or shy or quiet, having scared cats or cats with health problems. I think the fact that they kept me there for an extra 10 min for Mojo to relax was a good sign cuz they coulda just booted me. I saw them boot others without a blink of an eye. And then how the ASPCA lady said him calming down was a good display of our relationship...?
There was one couple - older like 70s maybe - they had a baby stroller that was meshed in with 3 cats inside. They were like wierd, bizzarre, reclusive cat people - you could just tell there was no way in hell they'd make it on a show like that - they didn't really want to hand their cat over to the evaluators really and they didn't really relate well to anyone else in the waiting room. People were sorta chit-chatting you know and saying how nervous they were and that kind of stuff...smiling at each other, looking at other people's cats.
My Auntie was in town and she did some performing back in FL. She told me that you can't guess what you did that was right or wrong cuz there IS no right or wrong answer and you never know what they are looking for. Could be your "look" was just not the kind they wanted or they wanted a smaller cat or a different colored cat ... you just have no idea what they want and the business is really fickle.
I came away thinking it was a really fun adventure. I was actually really proud of myself for DOING it! Mojo did GREAT for never having been out of our little 900 sq ft house since we brought him home when he was 8 weeks old. He handled all the people and noise and strange situation very very well. I had fun and what the heck did I have to lose? Ya can't win if you don't play.
Furry Husband showed up just as we were done. He had a good morning playing disc golf - played 4 under par even. My Mom and Auntie took us to lunch at the Cherry Cricket while Mojo waited in the car. (it was only 70 and we parked in complete shade with all windows cracked) On the way home, he sat in my lap vs. stretching out in the back of the station wagon...he even made some biscuits on my knees and purred for a while. Stardom hasn't gone to his head..........yet.
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