Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Ohhhh yeah.... I think I remember now. THE SUN!
Forget how gloomy things are when I haven't seen the sun in so long. Didn't help that I went to see my Pop over the holiday weekend. It was raining and there is never a good time to go see him so I might as well go and get it done.
I was pulled over by the law in NE for going 15 mph over... sigh. When the copper asked what my rush was, I told him I had a Dad in a nursing home and I was trying to get it over with as fast as possible. He was a nice officer and let me go with a gruff warning. I slowed down. Figured I received a gift from the state o' Nebraska. Thank-you Nebraska!
Dad has declined. I've talked to the nurses about it and I knew what to expect but it's a whole different thing to witness it first hand. I know he chose to be an asshole most of his life. He never could control his anger or the violence. I don't agree with how he decided to live his life...
But the thing is, he is still my Dad.
Part of me thinks I shouldn't get so emotional because of who he was... and I know there are people who think I shouldn't care so much because of the things he did...
And yet, it's hard because I DO still care and I still get emotional up in the head watching him wither away.
To me, it's like he's King Kong... no one and I mean NO ONE messed with my Dad when he was in his prime. He was one mean muther and he would mess you up. Now he is shackled and going down... he is the mighty Kong lying in the streets waiting to die. The Parkinson's has brought him to his knees. Nothing to do but watch.
He has a hard time speaking at all now. A word here or there. Sometimes an entire sentence will come out. He is sleeping much more and eating much less - preparing to leave this world - in my completely un-medical opinion. It will be a blessing for him when he does. When I arrived he was catatonic... slumped in his chair staring at nothing. When I left he kept trying to get me to stay and when I walked out the door he was standing in the hall in his walker staring after me.
I don't have anything to compare that feeling to. It sure sucks ass tho'.
Oprah had a good article in her May 2009 magazine called "The Good Old Times" about caring for aging parents.... The author says to try and find some humor and I'm trying to get back in touch with my sick sense o' warped humor about this. I am. Might take me a minute tho'...
The sunshine today is helping. Helping immensely in fact....
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I know I was completely geeked to plant my grass seed but the directions say it likes warm nights of close to 60 degrees and this week we were to have some 40 degree nights so we held off for a week. I'd hate to waste $100 worth of grass seed because I am too impatient.... sigh. I will plant it this weekend.I took Kylee ( my little sister from the big sister/little sister program ) to this Lyric Cafe Saturday morning. They show old cartoons on Saturdays for free with a $5 cereal bar. The sad thing is that the "old" cartoons were the Warner Bros. cartoons I watched all through my childhood.
Not only did I come out of that experience feeling like I am a frigging relic, it was sorta lame. It's a cafe... cafes have coffee. Not this one. Their espresso machine broke so I was without my caffeine and not very happy about it either. Kylee wanted something called "bubble tea". They were cooking it and it would be ready in 30 minutes. When we came out to see if it was ready, they said not yet and it'd be another HOUR.
Well, it sounded disgusting anyway - the cafe guy told me it just wouldn't congeal. Last time I drank something congealed it was called a cement mixer - Baileys and some other liquor poured in to make it curdle. Oh, those were the days.
Kylee and I left, walked to The Bean Cycle where I got my coffee and she had a strawberry/kiwi Italian soda which put us both in a much better mood. Her on her sugar rush and me with my caffiene buzz.
We window-shopped in Old Town for a while and drove to the pond store for pond liner. The guy there was great because he noticed Kylee really liked the fish. He took us in the back where the REALLY big koi fish are kept. And since I don't have children, and I only have Kylee for a few hours each week, I always wonder if the guys who like her just plain like kids or if they are pedophiles. And I feel really bad for those poor guys cuz I know I'm looking at them like they just might be pervs when they are probably really nice, normal guys.
Anyway, the koi were HUGE and Kylee liked them so even if the guy was a perv, he was a nice one.
The store also has this big tortise named Fred. He took us over to where Fred was hanging out and we said hello to him too. He was big - mebbe the size of a decorative throw pillow and probably weighed 50 lbs? Kylee thought those things were pretty cool.
After I took Kylee home, Furry Husband helped me line the pond. It is 4' by 3' and about 1.5' deep. Small but pretty. We found a tiger salamander that we think was hiding in the pond liner from the pond store. They are also called water dogs... we named him Randy. Yes, American Idol Randy, since he likes to say, "dawg" all the time and this was a water dog.
We put him in our pond and I made a hidey house for him. He could get out of the pond on his own and I was going to get him some guppies for dinner (the internet recommended pinky mice but I just can NOT do that - you know what pinky mice are don't you? Teensy little newborn mice with their eyes closed and no fur and they are usually alive.) I don't mind feeding guppies but a brand new pink newborn - even if it is a mouse.. nope. Can't do it. Even with the promise of guppies, I don't think Randy stuck around.
I ran around calling him... Raaaaaanndyyyyyyy c'mere boy! C'mon Randy - whose a good little water dog? You are! That's right - c'mon Randy - Raaaaaannnnddddyyy!
He never did show up.
Our pond is muddy with brown water from the deluge of rain we received yesterday. sigh. The water will clear once the mud settles and the mud won't be a problem once I get stuff planted... so much for my instant gratification! It was pretty for a day and now I have a brown water feature that may or may not have a water dog named Randy swimming around in there.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
2000 square feet I'm trying to turn into a native grass area... and this is only 1/3 of our "yard". The other 2/3 will be left until next year and the year after that. I'm trying to learn not to bite off more than I can chew.
I left whatever grass was growing and killed the kocia and bind weed. (I hope) The whiskey barrel to the right of that overturned stock tank is my "water feature".
The overturned stock tank was gonna become part of the "water feature" but we dug the hole to sink it in a bit deeper and decided to make it a little bigger. Once I line it with pond liner and place brick around it for definition, it will become bee-yooo-ti-ful. (in theory)
The square area is... well... we don't really know what it is. When we moved in, there was this 12' by 12' square outlined in concrete. We think it was a foundation for a garage but no one got around to it?
My plan is to fence it, put a cute old-timey gate on it with a little free form brick path leading to a free form brick patio for seating. And I'll put the wine bottle border all around the inside. Someone asked me if I'm scared they'll break? Not if you don't fall on them. Geez. Duh!
I'd like to have an old timey 2 seater metal glider bench or two. The rest will be planted with purty plants you'd want to gaze at while chatting with friends and having a beer or glass o' wine.My water hyacinths in my whiskey barrel...The hole where the pond liner and other water plants will go...We do have SOME green things other than bind weed. I bought 8 honeysuckle plants in the fall last year. They were on the side of the nursery where things go to die... they were on clearance and the tag said they were extremely hardy and fast growing. I picked them up for $5 each. We winter watered them and crossed our fingers. All 8 survived! Here is one below...And what day is complete without a little goatie love? Hello! Lookee how BIG we are now!
Friday, May 22, 2009
This is the blue grama seed when it is a bad soil loving, low growing, xeriscape grass best germinated from seed. I first saw a mass planting of it at the Denver Botanic Gardens when I was there taking notes about xeriscape plants. It was love at first sight.
Oh do keep your fingers, eyes, toes, legs and arms crossed for me and the visions of native grasses and wild flowers dancing in my head....